I've deleted the addictive, deadening blog site that is tumblr. The effect this website had on me was ridiculously intense. I spent hours scrolling through constructed images and notions of beauty and normality and convinced myself that I was not beautiful or worthy of a positive relationship with myself or those around me. The website itself is not to blame but the community that formed there. A self-perpetuating cycle of 'you're not good enough'. As silly as it sounds, this did control my personal happiness...and I am better than that. I deleted my tumblr so that I do not sink further into the cesspool of self-pity, loathing and jealousy.
I like the idea of noting down my thoughts and plans and I am not good at keeping a hand written journal as I find it somewhat cumbersome so I think that a blog is a useful tool for me. But tools may be abused. So I seek to use this tool wisely. To aid in my journey rather than hinder myself from growing and maturing. To document my thoughts and experiences as I go through life.
I am nineteen years old. It is the twenty second of June, 2011 and I am excited for what the future holds for me.
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