Holy fuck- I think I have a problem with having to over complicate every single freaking aspect of my life in my mind. Especially when it comes to men. Perhaps only when it comes to men. I over analyse E.V.E.R.Y.T.H.I.N.G and it only serves to stress me out. So why don't I stop? I don't think I am capable of doing that. I want to play it cool but when I start investing emotions I just cannot do that. I knew I should have stepped back. I told myself I would never let myself feel anything romantic for you ever again for a reason. You're fucking with my mind. Or rather, you're not doing anything and I am fucking my own mind. I leave myself too vulnerable to being hurt. Or hurting myself. Either way, I fail.